Harry's Story

Dianne, California

My name is Dianne. My husband and I have six kids and we live in Los Angeles, California. We met in 1998, moved to Boston from 2004-2014 and moved back to California in 2014. I have always been a part of many parenting groups and teams and believe that a community is so important for our children. It’s no joke that parenting is not for the weak, I cherish the villages I have been a part of as a parent. I was so grateful to meet the parents at PAVe to further educate and fight against the evil practice of addicting kids to nicotine. Here’s how I became involved…

In 2018 my then 14 year old started getting caught vaping. This was extremely difficult because this son had never been in trouble before. He is extremely smart, won 2nd place in the individual Santa Barbara County math bowl 2 years in a row and he is a talented athlete, an excellent lacrosse player. 

His father walked in on him one day and he was exhaling smoke. We talked to him and took his phone away. We thought his friends were ok- or that he would be a good influence on them, a foolish mistake on our part. We had no idea about nicotine addiction and what was actually happening. He started to become very angry, sad and defiant.

We started testing him for nicotine and we could not get him to test negative if he attended school. He would test negative during vacation but as soon as he returned to school he would be positive. I told the school this and asked them to search him at school, something they did to kids who they suspected. They found a device on him and he was suspended for 5 days. 

Frustrated and angry I started researching nicotine and vaping and discovered I was not alone. Unfortunately I did feel alone in our community. I felt like the entire country was fighting against JUUL and the vaping epidemic and I was the only informed parent with the problem in Orcutt, CA. 

I talked to the schools, talked to other parents, talked to the school board and the Superintendent. The problem with the administration was there was no support from the Superintendent. When I spoke to the Superintendent she responded- “Well some kid’s do it with their parents.” What? How uniformed and irresponsible to our kids? The principal at the school pretended to advocate but I could tell she didn’t really have a voice. I spoke with a school board member. I offered to do a 3 bid proposal for vape smoke detection devices and he accepted it. I’m not sure how far that went. Other parents were in denial and at that age we all know that it is ‘easier” to believe your kids who say they don’t then to actually find out. That year kids were caught vaping in elementary and high school in their district. 

After many hours of research and signing petitions online I was asked to be on the Flavored Tobacco Task force in Santa Maria, CA. I was so happy to be a part of the group and work with these amazing people. Finally I was being heard. Sadly, I was the only parent on the task force. In one meeting one of the advocates mentioned a group called PAVe, I contacted them on Facebook and had a very long discussion with Dorian. Finally I had another parent to have an informed honest discussion about what was really happening to our kids. My biggest frustration about vaping and flavors is that the kids that will be hurt the most do not have someone to fight for them.

When Harry got suspended, I picked him up from school and took him out to lunch. I wanted him to talk to me- tell me the truth. At the restaurant, he asked to go to the restroom. I was so frustrated – I was wondering if he was going to vape, right? Now I couldn’t trust him. I know this sounds weird, but as a worried mom, I asked the young waiter if he would go check on him- see if he was vaping. He looked at me and said, no. I told him, I was sorry- it was just a hard situation and I knew it was totally weird. He came back and told me his story. He told me he wished his mother would have fought harder and not let him vape. He said he vaped in high school and now has popcorn lung. It’s irreversible. I have no doubt his mother would have fought, if she knew. So sad, I was grateful he shared his story with Harry.

Harry was defiantly addicted. He knew it was bad but he had a hard time quitting. Thankfully I think the misery of his 8th grade year taught him how ugly nicotine is. We took away his phone and tested him all the time. He continued to struggle that year- it was just hard when the school didn’t have ways to fight and/or desire to fight.

Over the summer he was able to quit and we warned him about high school. We still test him and since his 8th grade year, he has not tested positive. 

In 2019, as part of the task force that met monthly we were able to outlaw flavors in the city Santa Maria, CA and the county of Santa Barbara. Harry’s younger brother Quintin spoke at both hearings-

“Hello, my name is Quintin and I am 11 years old. I am here to change something in the world that is breaking kids’ relationships with their families. My brother was addicted to nicotine in 2018. My brother was really nice, kind, and smart before the nicotine started taking over his brain. Once I knew my brother was addicted I started getting scared like really scared and I mean it. He was yelling banging the walls. Thankfully my parents were able to figure out how to test and take away his ability to get nicotine. It’s been a year now and he is doing fine. We have learned a lot about the dangers of nicotine and I want to encourage you to take away access to flavors - all flavors of nicotine. Nicotine tastes gross because it is gross and it destroys brains- there’s no flavor that should sugar coat it. Thank you for your time.” 

This summer 2020, we moved to Los Angeles County. I will continue to fight to outlaw flavors, test my kids and talk about the harm it does. I participated in the state wide California flavored nicotine outlaw virtual hearing. My new parent friends I have spoken with in LA have kids that vape. They have told me their frustrations and know it’s bad- but I don’t think they know how bad. If more parents knew- I think more would fight.  

The lack of information and knowledge about the exploitation with cotton candy nicotine to our youth for big tobacco profits is disgusting. We will all be dealing with the repercussions for the rest of our lives. Especially if we allow more kids to be attracted and addicted to the many marketed flavors of nicotine. 

I got a text last week from a friend in Boston who has 20 year old athletic kids. She mentioned a scare over the summer with her son having a heart attack. I didn’t ask about vaping but it was the first thing that entered my mind.